Description: I haven't written for almost a year now, so this is an effort to write again. I would be very glad about critics, comments or suggestions. It is hard to write after such a long gap. Hope you will still enjoy it. I don’t like the title. Any idea???????
A longing heart -------------------------------------------
Tired feet walk through the same dead roads
Yearning to just hear your steps echo from distant
Cold eyes search the known lane
Craving to just see a shadow of yours in an isolated edge
A fragile soul travels in intimate sites
Praying to just feel your touch in the gloom
A longing heart sits in the palace of memories
Knowing it wont hear your heart beat in the near again.
I like the lines "A longing heart sits in the palace of memories
Knowing it wont hear your heart beat in the near again.'
very deep. Great write! Thanks for sharing.
Kelley Frost
Oh my dear Shabnam, you are back for entertaining us with your lovely poems. Thanks so much for sharing your poem... I agree with my fellow writer Annie that your poem is so sad and it makes the reader eager to read it to the end.
But I hope this sad tones are going to chang into a happy atmosphere, something that
we know about you full of joy and love to every-
thing.
I like your whole poem but this two lines most:
" Tired feet walk through the same dead roads "
" Praying to just feel your touch in the gloom "
This is great and it expresses what is inside this sad heart... I hope you all the best.
nice vocabulary
+it inriches your poem
try to have a rhythm or meter to your poem
+in the second stanza, the first line is alot shorter than the second one
it is a very nice write. your vocabulary enriches your poetry. i like how you really dont know that the poem has a very sad feel to it untill the very end. the poem is sad itself but you dont really know why said person is sad until thte very last line. it makes the reader want to read the poem even more! wonderful!
Submission Name: A longing heart
