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    dots Submission Name: I remember youdots

    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.95 - 33/114/64
    Words: 304
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1931


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI remember youdots

    I remember you.
    You said you could not draw
    And I said could not write
    But I can pen you now
    With words
    I never thought to say.

    I remember you.
    We lay beneath the sky
    And cursed the stars for hiding
    And they still make me think of you
    When they laugh and when they twinkle.
    It reminds me you’re not far.

    I remember you.
    I climbed into your skin
    And hid inside
    To trace your hands and trace your heart
    The way the tears felt against your cheek
    And how the world looked through myeyes.

    I remember you.
    Love snuck up on us like
    Winter did when we were children.
    I caught all your words in tissues
    And you returned them to me
    Wrapped in gold.

    I remember you.
    We broke our childhood threads
    As we collided and
    I kept our
    Frozen feet and star-strewn limbs
    On a Christmas chain so full of promise.

    I remember you.
    You were so happy there with me
    And when you laughed you
    Warmed the frozen air.
    You built a trench filled up with wonder
    And as we lay I watched you sleep.

    I remember you.
    The flowers felt like styrofoam but
    At least I could pretend,
    And as they drank the water dry
    I could not stop
    The flow of change.

    I remember you.
    The rose you gave me died from cold
    And you nagged me for a half-empty glass.
    My lipstick’s on my coffee cup tonight:
    A broken promise that you’ll be
    The only thing to keep me up.

    I remember you,
    My second-nature love
    And sometimes I can hear you whisper.
    Pine trees in the darkness dance to your tune
    And the empty riverbeds
    Sing your name.

    Submitted on 2007-11-04 23:19:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really loved this, and I happened to really like the repition, and all of your lines seemed to fit perfectly. I really liked it good job. and the theme behind it was something i was able to connect with easily. nice work
    | Posted on 2007-11-07 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the poem
    Disliked the reppition I think it detracted from its natural Strength.
    | Posted on 2007-11-05 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I personally enjoyed the theme of the poem and the last line definately was a great way to end...I'm not too fond of the repetition though...but I love it seasonal love poetry, so it wasnt annoying enough to stop reading. But all in all, your poem left me smiling and I look forward to reading more of your work. :-)
    | Posted on 2007-11-05 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]

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