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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'm Dying Insidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nomad knight
    Elite Ratio:    6.66 - 110/75/41
    Words: 263
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2422



    Description:
       I suppose It is somewhat Ironic i would title one of my poems "I'm dying inside" a theme/title that is so repeated that this site even has a catagory for it: "I'm Dead Inside."

    On the other hand the whole point of this piece is Irony. I feel a little bit like i'm whining about the same old highschool drama b.s. but i've allowed myself to write such a piece since I do have a want to express these feelings and I find the irony in the subject worth writting about.

    The format itself is something i was playing with in this piece. I purposely tried to give the poem's appearce a shape and focused on that rather than rhyme. It ended up looking like some odd vase on top a hourglass shaped table or something. Not a serious attempt at poetic beauty so much as an amusing experiement.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm Dying Insidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Long ago you gave me a poem to read

    Exposing yourself to my judgment

    By telling me of those sad thoughts

    Below the surface of superficiality


    The title was Im Dying Inside.

    Cannot remember the words I read

    Only the last line comes to my mind

    Has anyone noticed, Im dying inside?


    Years have passed since that moment

    After which we built a close friendship

    Then destroyed it at end of that same year

    Spending the following years trying to heal


    Numbing the sensitivity to cope with the pain

    Programming myself to cast off the emotions

    Hurt from the echoes of our friendship

    My heart still retreats into the cold


    Becoming afraid, I cant stop my own withdrawal

    Scared now at my own efficiency of suppression

    Attempts to feel anything do not last long

    Failling to escape my own armor


    My colorful masks hide me

    As I slip farther away from my peers

    I hide myself all to well

    While hopeing someone will find me


    Opening up to you was the start of this

    You are the cause of my emotional suicide

    That I commit slowly while asking in silence

    Has anyone here noticed that I am dying inside?





    Submitted on 2007-11-06 01:06:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Bravo, I guessed at the ending before I reached it but I was not disappointed to find that I was correct, but rewarded. I think you succeeded very will in what you described as your intent in the description. You didn't write anything trying to be revolutionary, or original or even very great, but you wrote out of respect for something very common, giving it a slick new sheen of paint, polished it, molded it, improved it a little. Pure care there. Bravo!
    M.
    | Posted on 2007-11-07 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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