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Jealousy


Author: Sharati_hottie
ASL Info:    20/ Female / MICHIGAN
Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 86 /81 /90
Words: 179
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1677
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1196



Description:


This is Written by my a friend of mine, she was one of my best friends. It made me sad when she wrote this.


Jealousy



He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.
He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.
His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.
One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.
She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.
He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.
As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.
She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:
"I loved her so.
She never knew,
all this time
I loved her too."




Submitted on 2007-11-07 16:05:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I found this an alright piece, enough to keep me going till the end but I wished their was a little more feeling behind. I read it almost like it had been written before. written many times and was now almost common. I think a few more specific details or images could really set this piece apart.

on a more positive note the ryhming was consistent and it had a nice flow.
| Posted on 2007-11-07 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ]


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