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    dots Submission Name: If only for that second,(in that moment in time)dots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1204


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf only for that second,(in that moment in time)dots

    If only for that second,
    For that moment in time,
    When I was hers,
    And I held her as mine,
    Holding back tears,
    Tears we cried,
    I loved it whether it was real,
    Or just all in my mind,

    Together we where,
    So whole so pure,
    SO sure of it, we was loving,
    As never before of course,
    Love was fun wasnít it?
    We act, each other with,
    Trust hope and other bits,
    We never switched,
    Just give and get,
    We the otheríd give,
    Itís like good food,
    When you can feel it,
    In you skin and been,
    Love so good,
    That ďlikeĒ canít be,
    A synonym,
    For once in my life,
    I could understand,
    Women and,
    Giving didnít seem so hard,
    Roses crimson, with hugs,
    With love,
    Can you see what I mean?
    But it wasnít my decision,
    It was all just a dream

    If only for that second,
    For that moment in time,
    When I was hers,
    And I held her as mine,
    Holding back tears,
    Tears we cried,
    I loved her whether it was real,
    Or just all in my mind,

    Submitted on 2007-11-08 08:38:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this piece it almost leaves you having a deja vu i think we all have had one of these great moments in our life
    as far as the grammar and spelling when i write i no i make alot of typos to so i am not as critical as the other comment
    anywaz good stuff

    | Posted on 2007-11-08 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece. The short lines follow the trend of modern poetry...and what's really beautiful is the expression of the moment - the time when you were hers and you held her as if she were yours.
    However, I do have some criticism as regards the grammar of the poem. Poetry is beautiful only if it traps clear emotion into clear words...however, if the grammar is riddled with mistakes and slips, it doesn't make for pleasant reading. Get your spellings and language rules right, and you'll be a fantastic example of modern poetry.
    | Posted on 2007-11-08 00:00:00 | by Roberto Santos | [ Reply to This ]

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