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    dots Submission Name: The World Stops For Thisdots

    Author: beth freese
    ASL Info:    18.F.Earth
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 74/113/39
    Words: 401
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2298


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    dotsThe World Stops For Thisdots

    at first I was angry
    when I heard that horn from down the way
    I thought to myself
    yes this would happen to me
    yes the one time I do not take the sky bridge
    over the tracks, a train comes.
    this is terrible. and I am cold
    and look at it. the longest train in the whole world
    just my night. THE LONGEST TRAIN.

    oh but then it was beautiful.
    it was beautiful because of all the things you forget
    about trains and all the things you forget about life.

    it was silent except for the train
    the horn and the noise the wheels make
    when the tracks feel them go by

    oh and there was this beautiful gleaming fire truck waiting with me
    no siren, nothing. just waiting. and the train whooshed by
    like it was in some kind of rush
    like a mother busy busy busy whooshing by you to save time
    so she can get to her kids.
    but it was so much more beautiful, this grand machine
    because it stopped for nothing
    and even she would have stopped for this.

    and i let my arms dangle by my sides
    because i just couldnít bear cross them
    i couldnít show any contempt for this train
    and i was cold but it felt right and it felt night

    and no one to break the silence,
    just the rhythm of the trains wheels
    and the tracks. oh that friction.

    and the piece of ground i stood on shook
    just enough to let you know you were small
    but not enough to show you you were weak
    and my hair flew sideways with the air that was trying to keep up with this train
    this beautiful long train.

    and the light balls shown white and it lit up just the right amount of train
    as it now slowly moved in to the station
    slowly, calmly stopping
    and it just got quieter

    the world just held for that train
    because nothing was that necessary that you had to ruin this moment
    and nothing so important as this train running itís course. nothing so peaceful as this train.
    for a few minutes the world just didnít move
    because it was waiting for the train, the longest train in the whole world.

    Submitted on 2007-11-08 13:29:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was long but worth it. You describe a train, but so much more in revealing the way the train affects you.
    I got a lot out of this piece, hard to describe, it started with your lines:
    "oh but then it was beautiful.
    it was beautiful because of all the things you forget
    about trains and all the things you forget about life"
    I sort of took a lil trip down my own memory lane and was reminded of many things as each of your verses unfolded.
    Nicely written

    | Posted on 2007-11-08 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]

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