Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Musedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 532
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       Very elementary...but I don't care. It worked for me at the moment...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Musedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You're the one
    That rekindled my desire
    And you're the flame
    That set my mind on fire

    You're the song
    That makes me want to sing
    And you're the reason
    I want the phone to ring

    You have the face
    That I see when I close my eyes
    And you're the truth
    That lurks behind the lies

    You have the hands
    That have touched my skin
    And you're the man
    That makes me want to love again

    You're the path
    That I never wanted to choose
    You are everything
    My destruction and my muse




    Submitted on 2007-11-08 22:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Perfect meter! This was a real good poem and it sounded like it gave you hope to live again.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is simple, but it works for me too :)
    I feel this piece, and I like the end, although it was unexpected. One nitpicky suggestion, maybe you could change the "You're" to You are, just so that each 1st line has even syllables, for consistency. "The path you never wanted to choose" I can relate to that. It sucks when you can foresee how a path can lead to destruction and pain, and you take it anyway. My poem Warm Fuzzies is about feelings I have for someone, but if I share them, I'd be going down a path that could lead to a lot of hurt (mostly me). You inspired me to write another poem about her, thanks alot.
    I really do like this piece,
    nice work,
    nicely
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152447

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry