[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Dreamt of People I Never Metdots

    Author: CaughtRedhanded
    ASL Info:    18/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 94/41/22
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805

       First poem I've put up in a very very long time... just thought I'd put this out there...
    Bash the Hell out of it!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Dreamt of People I Never Metdots

    Last night wasn't as bad as the night before
    I dreamt of people that I never met
    Wished for everything to be right
    My clock stopped on 2:13…

    I told the truth "you can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true"

    The city lights strangle the life from every star
    and leave the sky a sickly orange/black
    If this is good enough, then maybe
    I can forget about hating myself for this moment
    I’ll take my last deep breath,
    and rest my head by the light of this town
    as it burns to ashes…

    We left all our hopes and dreams
    locked in the kerosene soaked walls of my bedroom

    We strike up conversations like matches…

    Submitted on 2007-11-09 09:01:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hey thanks for th review here anyway...

    why 2;13? times are always very strange in these settings i felt a little uncomfortable not understanding the significance? also the sylable lenght threw me

    the city lights bit is lovely really sweet
    though ive personally at time enjoyed that orange, bit of nostalgia y'know.
    the hating self bit seem too angsty for me but probably cas i was thsame a few yrs ago.

    and then u return to beautiful imagery again
    VWe strike up conversations like matches. well done.
    horrible to do Pr but i hav music on myspace.com/billythebrand if you been interested in checking it out and seeing if it strikes anythin for you.wud be nice but not necessary. thanks
    | Posted on 2008-01-09 00:00:00 | by billythebrand | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Promise written by annie0888
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    To written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]