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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Puzzled Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jasonsanctuary
    ASL Info:    17/M/OK
    Elite Ratio:    3.83 - 20/22/10
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 107
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 905



    Description:
       Do you think of your heart as a puzzle, and everthing you know is part of that puzzle? This is how this poem was inspired. But there is one person that is keeping my puzzle piece to himself


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    dotsMy Puzzled Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Laid strewn across the ground
    Two pieces of my heart is found
    Pain and longing, my wrists are bound
    Suppressed under Tears, enough to be drowned

    The two pieces laid side by side
    My incomplete heart I try to hide
    This ache and craving has my feet tied
    I looked fo my heart, I really tried!

    Love, Joy, what happened to those?
    I take in Agony what Life throws
    What shall I do, what do you suppose
    The puzzle of my heart, my crimson flows

    Do you have a piece to my jig-saw?
    I need it, need you, my eyes are raw
    The tears I cry for my flaw
    I have to abide by my pain's Law

    The hurt I feel has been so strong.
    I saw you with my piece all along
    I tell you I love you, you say it's wrong.
    You steal my piece and I sing you a song.




    Submitted on 2007-11-09 10:19:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh i ahve read this before. nice job jason. i love your style of poetry. hehe
    | Posted on 2007-11-16 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      i can relate to that. the heart is a puzzle. life is a puzzle. everything seems to be a puzzle and it seems that there is always a piece missing. i thought that it was good though. the rhyming was good and consistent. i thought that it read well and the emotion was very apparent. i would add some punctuation though, to help it read a little smoother. or maybe it is suppose to be a little choppy, due to the nature of the poem. in the fact that you're saying that your heart is a puzzle and there is a piece missing, so it is incomplete. the same way that the poem is missing punctuation and in that way it is incomplete. it's a good metaphor. a good way to add to the intensity of the piece. anyways, overall i thought that it was good. keep your head up. it always works out in the end.
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      I think everyone's heart is a puzzle; it takes a lot to put it all together and understand it.
    It also takes a lot to take a piece of your puzzle and give it to someone, and then you hope they won't ruin the piece so that your puzzle is never complete again... But that's a rant for another time. : )

    I'm sorry that he won't give you your puzzle piece, but maybe one day he will.

    <3

    [and you say you have trouble rhyming.. psh...]
    | Posted on 2007-11-09 00:00:00 | by dark_dreams6789 | [ Reply to This ]


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