Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midnight Restaurantsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1059
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1173



    Description:
       Shut up...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMidnight Restaurantsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pink straw in the water glass.
    Brown sugar sprinkled on his oatmeal.
    His spoon in my ice cream.
    Bodies lurching, table shaking,
    laughter rising from the booth,
    midnight restaurants
    still not enough of a distraction.

    Complaining no one's listening,
    hours later here he's questioning.
    "What color are his eyes?"
    "Does he own a ferrari?"
    "What do you have in common?"
    Holds a paper straw husk between his lips,
    gesturing, eyes accusing,
    "Yes." And then the believer in me
    turns, studying apple pie, "No."

    I eat and talk and do not care
    about how the answers sound.
    The words fall from my mouth
    like coins onto the table.
    Everyone hears them and knows
    how poor I actually am.

    Can't stop smiling,
    coming to grips with myself.
    The pain is worth the plunder now.
    Two days worth of tears still
    you're the light behind my eyes
    as I'm driving home in the dark
    with fifty cents to my name.




    Submitted on 2007-11-10 03:00:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      interesting piece...

    it is like this phantom guy i meet in restaurants...he's not really there, i imagine him...we make the table shake with our laughter...

    other patrons ignore us...well, cause i am alone and there is nothing to hear...but i love him just the same...

    at home there are people at the table...and parents ask me the same old questions.. who cares if he is beautiful, and loves me..and makes me laugh..."does he have a ferrari? can he support you?

    you need someone with money--
    and then my tears and my honesty..and the words falling like coins on the table..love that..

    it's noisy, they can all hear me...i don't care what you think...

    i think of my man and it makes me love him even more...even if he is only a figment of my imagination...

    well my imagination kind of lept with this one...

    i really like the scene this painted for me..

    like a stilllife water color.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this! Creative style; does well for that whole murky numb feeling I think your trying to portray. This has great imagery and is very descriptive.
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is a WOW. It sounded like a thrilling movie with just one scene of romance- mere but very important. This verse is very visual, strongly emotive and amazing. I think this is a favourite.

    Well done for this new age poetry!

    -v
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152545

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry