Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Want You Happy dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: amrslamr
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 18/18/16
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 490



    Description:
       After the breakup.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Want You Happy dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sure, it feels odd, seeing you here, her on your arm
    Knowing you're with her 'cause she's the opposite of me
    Sure I get scared, here in this house, alone in the dark
    'Cause even in silence you were here with me.

    But I want you happy, I want you whole again
    And it's healing me to see it happenin'.
    Sure it feels bad being the one who decided to leave.
    But I want you happy, so I can forgive me.




    Submitted on 2007-11-10 19:52:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sure I get scared, here in this house, alone in the dark
    'Cause even in silence you were here with me.

    MAn, I know how that is...an empty house can seem like the scariest thing in the world when you're used to having that person there.

    I like this.

    At first, it sort of sounded like they were the one that left. I'm kind of glad that you admitted that you were.

    Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152608

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry