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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Balloon Citydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: oononotthatguy
    ASL Info:    35 M Fernley ,Nv
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 48/15/15
    Words: 436
    Class/Type: Story/Comedy
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2523



    Description:
       Not that it was Balloon induced...............
    (Well mabey)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBalloon Citydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Let’s go to city of balloons. Let’s float with
    the entertainers. Drink with the jazz
    musicians, I wanna' take that role, watch
    all the different balloons bounce around.

    And there we were an hour later. The
    colors were splendid from left to
    right. They went up into the air, bouncing
    off each other in waves. Damn it was
    cool. The drinks were going around and
    the music was bumpin'.

    A little to the left, a little to the right'
    the back beat was great. The women
    were HOT as they floated around in cute
    little balloons.

    The music got louder as the drummer went
    into a solo. Quiet attention was given to
    him by all who were there.

    One by one they began to float off the
    ceiling. The beat started waves among all
    who were there. It was a little groovy and a
    little cheesy. But it just went.

    “Pop”. A quick silence followed.
    the blonde lost her balloon, fell into the floor.
    And just kept on going.

    The drum beat started up again, slow
    and steady.

    “Damn, I hate to see her go, she was cute.”

    “Yah Happens man, but she's gone, ain't
    comin' back.”

    It was what it was. But the night just wasn’t
    quite the same after that. Sure no one else
    cared, but the blond. I couldn’t shake her out
    of my head.

    The back beat started up again. And people
    were smiling, laughing. I was smiling too,
    but I didn’t want to be there.

    Then, I just stopped.

    “Man…………………I’m done, I’m takin
    off Dude..”

    “Whhhhaaatttt…………….. look around you,
    things are just getting started.”

    “Dude, I’m done……………. I’ll see ya later.”

    "And out the door I went."
    Cute girls smiling at me but I didn’t smile
    back, I just looked them straight in the eye.
    and kept on going. A little ways
    away from the building I could still
    feel the music on my feet. I started to play
    with the salt on my glass.

    And then I noticed a beautiful brunette,
    off in the distance. Take a drag off
    her cigarette…………………………………
    and exploded.











    Submitted on 2007-11-11 12:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      MAn this was awsome wow,it fit together so well,the humor at the end,this was great,cool,cant wait to read your other stuff
    | Posted on 2007-12-23 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for your comment on my poem "Jezebel":)

    i liked this it was very unique (and i really mean that) and kinda trippy.
    you have a very recognizable and individualistic writing style.....but i have one question... how did the narrorator "go out the door" if he was encased in a pretty little balloon? did he float out the door? lol just wondering.
    anway i liked this peice of writing a lot, the last line was probably my favorite
    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by SYnesthesiA_WaR | [ Reply to This ]
      Very enjoyable piece! Do you mean "solo" instead of "silo"? I've heard that blondes have more fun but that brunette just might! Keep on writing, Sharon :-)
    | Posted on 2007-11-14 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      wow it kinda takes me back just little, you know what I mean? like dejavu man.

    I thought it was quite abstract myself, yet it still makes perfect sense. M
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by mekisha4ever | [ Reply to This ]
      this is the most random thing i have ever read!! but that's so good, random is good. it felt like an acid trip....a very colourful acid trip....i like this piece!
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by freeangel | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent Job
    The humor in the end of this write flowed beautifully with the whole write
    I really Loved how you stressed the different colors surronding you as thats what the World is The Great American Melting Pot
    This was a little long but it came together very well
    Excellent Job!!!
    God Bless
    Ron
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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