Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Calling out your name. (Nov. 11 2007)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    21.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 238/273/176
    Words: 279
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 903
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1769



    Description:
       The emptiness of lost faith.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCalling out your name. (Nov. 11 2007)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You ask me for the words,
    Given by the sword the punishment for some,
    You ask me for my love and faith,
    Devoted servant nothing needed but your presence
    And their I lay beneath you unguarded truly yours.
    There I stood beside you,
    Given up what eyes needed to believe,
    There I stood yours,
    Truly yours,
    There I stood devoted and blood stained,
    There I allowed you to lead the way, but asked,
    Only asked for my protection,
    Begged with my soul that night and you turned away.
    I stayed with you battered and beaten still in devotion,
    There I laid beneath you,
    There I stood beside you,
    Ready for whatever game you wished to play,
    And all I asked was that you’d stay,
    All I desired was for your hand throughout the rain.
    Memories came crashing down beseeching me from that fogged crowd,
    And you vanished,
    Devotion shattered with bitter anger,
    And you vanished,
    Left the empty shell beneath begging on her knees,
    There you left uncovered and broken with the memories of that night,
    There you left me calling, left me begging, left me on my knees.
    And here I sit, the empty tears,
    You walked from my side and I am calling out,
    Wanting nothing more then you,
    Nothing more but you,
    Nothing more but your re-entry into my life,
    Nothing more but the feeling of your watchful gaze,
    Nothing more but my faith to return.
    I sit here lost without that which was,
    Forever chanting in my blood,
    The faith of a thousand slain beast ,
    But not alone I sit in the wake without peace.
    Empty and wasted calling out your name.




    Submitted on 2007-11-12 00:46:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful.

    I'm not sure if it is relationship based or God based. Regardless, It is beautiful.

    The imagery is lovely and the words are all tied together in such a way that they should never be taken apart.

    Amazing...
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152688

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry