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    dots Submission Name: Deaddots

    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1032


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    She knew what it was like
    To be like me
    To see what I see
    To feel what I feel
    To die how I died
    She was just another poor lost soul
    Traveling down this road I know
    She cut her wrists
    He blacked her eyes
    And then one night
    She took her life
    She had enough
    The fun was done
    Staring down the barel of a gun
    She grasped it tight
    And with all her might
    She pulled the trigger
    And took her life
    Her mom walked in to see the sight
    She nearly died too from fright
    The blood was drying
    Her mom was crying
    All because the girl stopped trying

    The funeral came the following week
    As her mom was about to speak
    This angel appeared from up above
    And gave her mom a great big hug
    She said that Anna was safe in the sky
    As her mom tried not to cry
    Let her rest the angel then said
    That's why she wanted to be dead

    Submitted on 2007-11-12 09:50:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well. I think it would have been better if it didn't rhyme so much. It was very good though. I very much liked the idea. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      Very very good.I belive that good is not a very descriptive word when describing ones poetry.But thats what is was it was enchanting I could say.It was demanding as in how it demanded your attention in a i believe the word is sutile way.And never let you go .So for just this once I will go with the ordinary word "good".Since your piece was exactly the opposite.

    the girl who cried wolf
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]

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