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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: all cut up with nowhere to godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PoeticNonsense
    ASL Info:    20/f/around
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 205/215/100
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 748



    Description:
       rererevised


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsall cut up with nowhere to godots
    -------------------------------------------


    my feet are heavy. they
    match my soul. i pause,
    ready, prepared to step,
    to join the dance. but i
    trip and fall to pieces.
    the blood stains my dress
    and turns my roses red. i
    am off balance and out of
    practice unable to mimic
    even the simplest steps.
    my entire body is on fire.
    aching with fruitless
    effort. i collapse to the
    ground, gasping for air.
    my dress, stained with
    blood attempts to soothe
    me. i cant move. i want to
    stand, to remember how to
    dance or die in the attempt.
    but my flesh, recognizing
    defeat, stays where it is. a
    broken body in the middle
    of an empty dance floor.




    Submitted on 2007-11-12 13:49:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It paints a good mental image of a woman stumbling around a dance club in a dress covered in blood. I liked this piece but in the end i dont know if im any better for having read it. I guess what i mean is, where is the point. I get the story line, but what pain and emotion lie underneath?

    Channie
    | Posted on 2009-03-17 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, deep and wonderful. Afraid to join the dance that is life. it's hard out there no one cares just blaze your path and leave a mark on this place. i could see this whole poem in my mind as i read it. Lovely Write.





    Christopher
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]


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