[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: all cut up with nowhere to godots

    Author: PoeticNonsense
    ASL Info:    20/f/around
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 205/215/100
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 987
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 748


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsall cut up with nowhere to godots

    my feet are heavy. they
    match my soul. i pause,
    ready, prepared to step,
    to join the dance. but i
    trip and fall to pieces.
    the blood stains my dress
    and turns my roses red. i
    am off balance and out of
    practice unable to mimic
    even the simplest steps.
    my entire body is on fire.
    aching with fruitless
    effort. i collapse to the
    ground, gasping for air.
    my dress, stained with
    blood attempts to soothe
    me. i cant move. i want to
    stand, to remember how to
    dance or die in the attempt.
    but my flesh, recognizing
    defeat, stays where it is. a
    broken body in the middle
    of an empty dance floor.

    Submitted on 2007-11-12 13:49:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It paints a good mental image of a woman stumbling around a dance club in a dress covered in blood. I liked this piece but in the end i dont know if im any better for having read it. I guess what i mean is, where is the point. I get the story line, but what pain and emotion lie underneath?

    | Posted on 2009-03-17 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, deep and wonderful. Afraid to join the dance that is life. it's hard out there no one cares just blaze your path and leave a mark on this place. i could see this whole poem in my mind as i read it. Lovely Write.

    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]