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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Concert of Lustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jasonsanctuary
    ASL Info:    17/M/OK
    Elite Ratio:    3.83 - 20/22/10
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 156
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769



    Description:
       This is my "song." We all have bodily lust, so why not write about it? this is written as how a song has like a bass line and harmony, the poem tries to reflect that style... somewhat. I couldn't do it... *sad*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConcert of Lustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He smiles at me and touches my cheek
    ...simple touch and in ecstasy...
    lips collide like stars, the nebula we seek
    ...softly, lips commit heresy...
    Thrust of the body, the arms become tangled
    ...tearing eyes shine in rapture...
    My body absolves itself, the chains sit dangled
    ...hands moving, seeking, motifs so sure...
    Pleasure erupts in every pore
    ...seeming like forever we are finally one...
    Sweating harshly on the southern shore
    ...Blazing passion, jealous is the sun...
    Beating in rhythm, the concert of lust
    ...As voilin and bow, we glide along the other..
    The flesh's epiphany at once the zenith is just
    ...hand in hand, the pain I let him smother...




    Submitted on 2007-11-12 14:22:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Deep and intense...the lovely sensuality, and raw sexuality of this...truly inspiring. :)

    I must say, that I could hear it in my head...the main parts bass, the ...parts simply fleeting harmony to bring the piece together. This concert has a standing ovation. I applaud this. Beautfiful!
    | Posted on 2007-11-24 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      I have read this before to and i must say that they should be finished. also i think that you should give up on weston. he is just a prick woh toys with you. just forget about him and what he does and make your own life. show him that you are so much better than him.
    | Posted on 2007-11-16 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really, really good.
    Very descriptive, and very vivid.
    You have a great sense of words.
    Hope you keep writing.
    <3 Katherine
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by Katherine_Music | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, not bad, i think "hear" or feel" would be better at the end. Poe

    "The flesh's epiphany at once the zenith is just
    ...hand in hand, the pain I let him feel".
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, very well written :]
    I was going to stop at the mid of it, i was thinking of a good feedback and i would forget it by the time i finished reading your song.
    Don't be sad! It was great, and the '...' dots you put at the beginning show that they are like different verses, am I right? :S was that the purpose ? :D
    anyways..

    I really liked it, now i'm off to study Biology,
    Sofie
    | Posted on 2007-11-12 00:00:00 | by Broken-lands | [ Reply to This ]


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