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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Little ones..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruinedsnapshots
    ASL Info:    21/f/usa
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 25/27/19
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 61
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 999



    Description:
       Little bitty guys who I would feel bad posting alone.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLittle ones..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    1.

    Speak, fresh daughter.
    Wear decay, said father.
    Pierce worry, young son.
    Mother’s work had just begun.

    Porcelain questions.
    Marble squirms.
    Dirt lies.

    I run.

    2.

    my secret manure,
    sweet under thick vine.
    coaxing mud mountains,
    of exotic brown.

    wild moss mornings,
    whispering together.
    wish their shade sanctuary,
    would sun over.

    summer fled the chill.
    winter bled their will.

    3.

    Monday monkeys stress global presentation.
    Cubicle Capitals emerge effective.

    maximize think.
    system multitask please.
    identify opportunity while,
    machines integrate knowledge.
    cross-function our collaborative memo.

    Is it Casual Friday yet? Dress-Down Wednesday? Tee-Shirt Tuesday? Or,
    Shoot-Yourself Thursday?





    Submitted on 2007-11-12 15:12:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece reminds me of Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine and Gus Van Sant's Elephant, probably because of the subtle hints towards tragedy and the whole "Shoot yourself Thursday" comment.

    While I'm not really as much a fan of clipped sentences as I was when I thought that lyrics can usually be translated into immensly moving poetry, I still think that there is some potential in this kind of writing. While it may alienate some people, it also has the ability to give that outsider's feel. I think that this is very important in some pieces because it allows you to experience the same shock factor that people experience when they are confronted with the issue of someone commiting suicide or starting shoot outs out of thin air. And I think that, it is only through that kind of experience/emotion that a person can really learn from something as tragic in a world where people can be seen bombing malls and unloading 8mms in the middle of a bar.

    My concern with this kind of writing of course is that sometimes, there may be too many holes for a person's common sense of imagination to fill because not everyone is a poet. I do think, however, that everyone can appreciate Poetry so it is only a matter of finding the right language, medium and tools; be they words, fists (as I may have mentioned to you or Bill earlier) or yes, loaded guns (which I find a bit hard to support.)

    So, if you think you've found the right elements for this piece... well... go with it then.
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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