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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Gonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cait
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 8/9/9
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 683



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    No one will ever know how hard she worked
    to make the drawing
    that you refused.

    The drawing on pink paper with scribbles
    of white crayons and black crayons
    and in-between crayons.

    She carried it to your bedroom,
    but you didn't respond --
    instead you stared vacantly
    out the window and waved her away.
    When she came into the room,
    the fly buzzing on the rim of your
    empty bottle was what caught
    your dull attention;
    not the loving swirls of color.

    After a long silence, the little girl --
    your little girl--
    quietly left the room.




    Submitted on 2007-11-12 18:52:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Simply written, but underneath, there are so many emotions simmering... loneliness, utter loneliness is the overwhelming one I get. And it makes me think of every kid out there who tries their hardest, only to be ignored, because their parents are too busy... with life's motions, I guess.

    If I ever have children, I've always sworn I'll never be a lethargic parent like so many are; they don't deserve the beauty of them, I don't think.

    So sad and wrenching.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2007-11-16 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to agree, it felt like I was the one standing in the room seeing this. I can't really say a whole lot about this, because it pretty much speaks for itself. It's so unbelievably sad and my heart goes out to that little girl.

    Candi
    | Posted on 2007-11-14 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Despite the lack of powerfully emotional words, this poem reflects kind of a deep despair - not anger, like one would have expected - just dull acceptance and sadness of the way things are.
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by ZoeJane | [ Reply to This ]
      It's very powerful and sad. I feel for the girl. It sucks to have a parent like that. As from the peom itself it flows nicely. It's like I'm stnding there watching. Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-11-13 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]



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