Description: This poem IS NOT based upon my life. I've never been pregnant or anything, so don't think I've given away a kid or something. I was writing from the persona of a character.
Not Enough -------------------------------------------
Nothing you gave me was good enough to keep
Not the feeling, the ring, or the baby
Do I still weep?
Maybe
ouch... and understood. This piece is essence of cuddle - cooked down, distilled, and crystalized. 4 lines of perfect clarity. You deliver your emotion, your message, and your hurt in 4 clean lines. Correct me if I got this wrong, but... you still cry, not for HIM, but for what could have been. Boy do I know that feeling. Well done, baby-girl. <><
Short, and to the point seems to be your style... and you handle it really well... so i wont beat you up about lengthening this.... i really like that it comes to screeching halt and leaves me to my imagination... i also see what you mean by a less subtle rhyme scheme... which you suggested in a reply to my piece, "Rape"... very nice job with this piece you have here
wow, the ending was out of no where you probably don't cry for the loss of him but for the loss of things you gave up for this man. Like a baby that could have been loved by you.and the ceremonial traditions that all people in love go through thrown away on this man who couldn't love you enough to let you keep yourself and sent you away crying for things you gave up for him.
Submission Name: Not Enough
