One Voice, One Imperfect Nation -------------------------------------------
We're all just trying to kill time
waiting for sleep
where we dream, where we don't feel so alone.
Mornings pass by and on upon every wake
we hope that for once
we'll open the paper to find a mess of smiley faces
instead of death lists and broken works.
We are told to remember that somewhere out there someone is laughing
That somewhere someone is making a promise that they'll keep
and a child is being given a home to loving parents;
but it's not enough to feel okay.
As the days drag on
we desperately cling onto the only truth we often forget…
of one unified voice, of one imperfect nation.
And though it feels like it's the end of the world
we must remember
that we are reaching this end together.
Wow. I don't say this a lot, especially on a website full of angsty teenagers posting half-hearted poetry, but that was very powerful. You tied it up together nicely. Some of the words you used in this really shocked me, but in a good way. I liked this a lot.
"we'll open the paper to find a mess of smiley faces
instead of death lists and broken works."
That part was my favorite. Death lists and broken words. What are the broken words? Lies? Descriptions of sad events? Grammatical errors? I was wondering about that.
I like how you say that we're told to remember that these wonderful things happen, rather than saying that we do. Because we try, but it's difficult sometimes to remember that there's good in the world when our vision only shows us unhappiness and despair. But you acknowledge the existence or at least the image of the good, and that really works for you because it shows a (albeit failed) attempt from the point of the narrator to accept the goodness. It makes your writing not angsty, but just sad, and that's much better than angsty, haha.
So because I enjoyed this, I'm favoriting it. Nice!
Submission Name: One Voice, One Imperfect Nation
