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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To the roof.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tryst
    Elite Ratio:    2.48 - 8/20/16
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 503
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 527



    Description:
       This piece just kinda flowed, I'm not sure where it came from, but I wish I could write this easily more often, it took less than five minutes to put it all together.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo the roof.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm not quite to the roof,
    but I've already fallen,
    I do what I must,
    I'm one of the chosen,

    I've run out of reasons,
    to fail yet again,
    so I'll be successful,
    bringing life to an end,

    I step forward once more,
    plant foot firmly on air,
    and continue walk,
    they look up in despair,

    As I fall to the ground,
    I close my eyes and smile,
    I can overcome failure,
    once in a while.




    Submitted on 2007-11-14 02:19:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a great poem Ryan!
    But I think this stanza needs a little work?

    "I step forward once more,
    plant foot firmly on air,
    and continue walk,
    they look up in despair,"

    I maybe wrong?
    Love your work!!! Keep it up
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152855

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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