Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To the roof.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tryst
    Elite Ratio:    2.48 - 8/20/16
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 435
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 527



    Description:
       This piece just kinda flowed, I'm not sure where it came from, but I wish I could write this easily more often, it took less than five minutes to put it all together.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo the roof.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm not quite to the roof,
    but I've already fallen,
    I do what I must,
    I'm one of the chosen,

    I've run out of reasons,
    to fail yet again,
    so I'll be successful,
    bringing life to an end,

    I step forward once more,
    plant foot firmly on air,
    and continue walk,
    they look up in despair,

    As I fall to the ground,
    I close my eyes and smile,
    I can overcome failure,
    once in a while.




    Submitted on 2007-11-14 02:19:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a great poem Ryan!
    But I think this stanza needs a little work?

    "I step forward once more,
    plant foot firmly on air,
    and continue walk,
    they look up in despair,"

    I maybe wrong?
    Love your work!!! Keep it up
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    152855

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry