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    dots Submission Name: A nest dots

    Author: Polydectes
    ASL Info:    29/m/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    7.84 - 154/85/38
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1167
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 333


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    dotsA nest dots

    Amid this timber life of mine
    and it is always dry there too;
    my years like pickles soaked in brine.
    Iím not, Iím right? My den, my coo.

    A wealth of choices incomplete,
    the day is done, no time to roam,
    a life of bark and of deceit.
    My core rooted in her frail loam.

    Submitted on 2007-11-14 08:03:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have added another dimension in describing scrupples. Sort of like damn if I don't and damn if I do. The white scum that forms on a batch of pickles needs to be removed to keep them from rotting.

    I LIKE IT !!!!
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I could not help but think about the danger in dryness versus the safety in pickling. LOL---that is probably because of all the fires lately in California being headline news while dryness definitely contributes to fire dangers.

    Oh, yes, I'm off on a tangent and that's definitely not what you intended!!

    You're a genius at use of metaphors and I could read poems like this one for hours just letting my mind roam through the words to its own fancy.

    Well done, :-) Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Nice Write
    To me you are speaking of a Beautiful Relationship
    You easilly show the reader even a perfect relationship has its flaws as nothing on this Earth is completely perfect
    I liked the inclussion of nature to show how deep this relationship is to you
    Excellent Job
    Looking forward to reading more new writes from you
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2007-11-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem. The juxtaposition of the dryness and the pickles soaked in brine was interesting. I also liked how bark implies deceit - like a covering up of what lies underneath. A lot of poems can be sing-songy when they rhyme, but yours definitely strayed far from that. Again, I like it. Oh--and thank you for the welcome. :-)
    | Posted on 2007-11-14 00:00:00 | by Cait | [ Reply to This ]

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