A nest by Polydectes

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: A nest dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Polydectes
ASL Info:	26/m/South Africa
Elite Ratio:	8 - 144/72/34
Words:	59

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	146
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	333

Description:

A nest

-------------------------------------------

Amid this timber life of mine
and it is always dry there too;
my years like pickles soaked in brine.
I’m not, I’m right? My den, my coo.

A wealth of choices incomplete,
the day is done, no time to roam,
a life of bark and of deceit.
My core rooted in her frail loam.

Submitted on 2007-11-14 08:03:02 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  You have added another dimension in describing scrupples. Sort of like damn if I don't and damn if I do. The white scum that forms on a batch of pickles needs to be removed to keep them from rotting.

I LIKE IT !!!!
| Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  I could not help but think about the danger in dryness versus the safety in pickling. LOL---that is probably because of all the fires lately in California being headline news while dryness definitely contributes to fire dangers.

Oh, yes, I'm off on a tangent and that's definitely not what you intended!!

You're a genius at use of metaphors and I could read poems like this one for hours just letting my mind roam through the words to its own fancy.

Well done, :-) Sharon
| Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
  Very Nice Write
To me you are speaking of a Beautiful Relationship
You easilly show the reader even a perfect relationship has its flaws as nothing on this Earth is completely perfect
I liked the inclussion of nature to show how deep this relationship is to you
Excellent Job
Looking forward to reading more new writes from you
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2007-11-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this poem. The juxtaposition of the dryness and the pickles soaked in brine was interesting. I also liked how bark implies deceit - like a covering up of what lies underneath. A lot of poems can be sing-songy when they rhyme, but yours definitely strayed far from that. Again, I like it. Oh--and thank you for the welcome. :-)
| Posted on 2007-11-14 00:00:00 | by Cait | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

152864

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]