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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ThisIsReal
    ASL Info:    22-M-Lost
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 182/194/88
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 202
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 616



    Description:
       last poem to date ever written for my butterfly(danielle)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    you may call me crazy
    after all we have been through
    almost 5 years now
    and I still love you

    I'm sitting here
    in the pre dawn light
    missing your prescence
    not sleeping this night

    I know that it was me
    that chose to walk away
    and still I'm filled with regret
    mising you this day

    Tears fall from my eyes
    The truth burns my mind
    to walk away as I did
    I must have been blind

    Blind of myself
    blind of our love
    to all that i had
    my gift from above




    Submitted on 2007-11-15 00:39:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "I'm sitting here
    in the pre dawn light
    missing your prescence
    not sleeping this night"

    That made me so sad... and it's very well worded, by the way.

    I really liked this. It's short, but perfect. Kind of calm and gloomy, you know?
    It fits my mood this evening.

    Good stuff.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      Brings be past break ups for me.

    All around decent poem. I liked it. Nothing grand, but simple and sweet, the sort of enjoyment one gets from a spring breeze.

    The only quirk I think I may have picked up is the word 'Prescent' Did you mean to say 'Present'? A minor grip, if one at all.

    LJS
    | Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      its a nice short poem. sorry for you though. but maybe you can both get back together, if you asked him. and tell him why, he mite think about it and reconsider.

    but good choice of words. there are most likely things that you can do to make it better. maybe adding length but that would ruin it. I think that its good the way it is from where I am sitting. but like I said, some one else mite see something that should be done. I think the ending stanza was a favirote part of this entire thing. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by Sereto_Uesugi | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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