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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: September dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    19.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 226/261/167
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 137
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1081



    Description:
       Every time its always September.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeptember dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Waiting for my next September,
    Waiting for my dream come true.
    Waiting for my next encounter,
    That I can give myself away too.
    I知 waiting for my next September
    The distant burn of shadows calling,
    I知 waiting for my next departure,
    Falling deeper drinking sweeter.
    Waiting for my next September,
    Waiting for another love,
    Trying to make my world much weaker,
    By lying to the stars above.
    I知 waiting for another September,
    To pass the tides in bliss,
    Dreaming of you somehow,
    I知 watching the stars defeat dis.
    Waiting for my next September
    When the birth of flowers live to let live,
    Waiting for my next September when I can let you in.
    Dreaming of another falling,
    Caged and bitter yet oh-so lovely,
    I知 waiting for my next September
    Waiting for another love,
    I知 waiting for the stars above,
    To play the song of fall again,
    I知 waiting for my next September,
    I知 waiting for the tides above.




    Submitted on 2007-11-15 23:38:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The waiting is hammered home by it's overuse. The September comes up far too often as well. I feel that this may also be better in stanzas.
    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      You get your point across, I'll give you that. But I think that you stress the woprd September TOO much. There's no real point other than "I'm waiting" and it could have been said in fewer lines.
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by thesacredone | [ Reply to This ]


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