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    dots Submission Name: "My Own"dots

    Author: goodcarmacurley
    ASL Info:    40/female/nevada
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 8/10/5
    Words: 416
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Love
    Total Views: 701
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1988

       For my one and only Son. Feeling that since he had to live with my bad choices and addictions, that maybe he won't choose the same road as I. He can be spared a life without darkness. My life would be successful and my heart at peace.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"My Own"dots

    Hey Hey, My My…

    Sadness creeps in with no intent, it just creeps. A wave of familiar darkness leads the way. I follow mindlessly, knowing the way. No stumbling over the unknown, I’ve made this journey plenty. It doesn’t wear the pain from the past. After one travels these paths time and time again, it then becomes the path that wears, no longer the seeker. Or so it seems. Less stumbles and falls. The pain is normal. Does this mean I have found comfort within this nightmare? Or simply accepted it to be true. Can my faded soul still desire the ray of light? Is the faith still within?

    I speak of truth as if I was its inventor. Living my lie, it is I whom I deceive the most.

    Justifying the pain I have tossed carelessly on to the one who is “My Own.” Leading Lucifer to his broken heart, his lost home. The darkness, merely a blanket to hide my shame and grief.

    Are my arms strong enough to reach him, “My Own”, help him stand high above my shadows? Is my life’s pain enough to slay the demons who taunt his soul? Will I rid the guilt of my reckless choices and reveal how strong my heart can be... Stop the selfish demons I’ve awoken and sacrifice my lie, to shun his darkness and lead him to the ray of light I seek. If I can’t, who can?

    I have a single chance of one, one moment to give my unconditional love to “My Own.” He shant pay for my dance. I will find peace seeing his soul filled with happiness and contentment. I will chase the ray of light, ignoring the darkness. Believing my lie revealed is forgiven.

    He must know a Mothers love can light any dark path…..

    Walking "My Own" through this cold damp hell…… Safely…… to the warmth and beauty of love and Light


    For "My Own.."
    Shane Spencer March, 2006

    Submitted on 2007-11-16 01:26:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nicely done Carm! I feel for anyone with an adiction of any kind. This came from the heart and thats the best kind of writing I think? They say write what you know and all will understand.
    I'm sure your son loves you very much and I bet you both have shared tears of sadness and joy.
    Keep up the great work Carm and were all pulling for you.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow carm that is very good, I had To read it througt tears. I feel that way about my son Devian Shane he is an angel and my darkness is so vast. We are an Yin Yang I would miss him alot if I was on the road your on. Luv M.
    | Posted on 2007-11-18 00:00:00 | by mekisha4ever | [ Reply to This ]
      As parents we tend to make choices or even wish choices for our children that would lead them down a different path then the one we took.
    I can see that you have made choices that you regret and as many humans we all have made those choices. Sometimes we are not able to remove ourselves from the past and seemed to be fated to travel the same path even though we know what will be ahead of us. I myself traveled those very paths but found someone to rescue me.
    My children are my path and even though they have grown and are on their own I still provide some advice from time to time. In the end we can only hope that they find happiness in what ever they do.

    I see a mother here who has traveled a long road. Love is the word here and it will have to be enough.
    I have found over the years that the strogest love that binds is a mothers love. This kind of love will move mountains and part the troubled waters.

    Nicely done

    Respect and Admiration

    | Posted on 2007-11-16 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Another sad piece, another very well written.
    I definately feel the pain through the words.
    The feelings, the want for change seem so genuine.
    I normally don't write rhyming poems like this(haven't in a while), but you inspired me.

    there is One
    Who claimed to be the way and the light
    Who draws in those that stray
    and strengthens them with His might

    One who defeated hell and death
    One that gives renewing breath
    One that breaks generational curses
    One that finds value
    in those who think they are worthless

    there is One
    that is singing a song of Redemption
    there is One that I felt I had to mention

    | Posted on 2007-11-16 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]

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