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    dots Submission Name: Musicboxdots

    Author: Ayane
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 71/128/60
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1584

       My english teacher told us to pick words to describe a pencil. then she told us to pick a random noun. Mine was a musicbox. She then told us to use 7 of our pencil words for a poem about our noun we picked. I did the best I could.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In my arms, I hold a box

    With splinters on its sides

    And those who see it cannot guess

    The secret that it hides.

    Far below its ancient lock

    That keeps it closed and stern

    Protrudes a silver winding key

    That wishes for a turn.

    Within the box that looks so scarred

    There stands a little girl

    Who sits among the silken blue

    Before she spins and whirls.

    Behind her stands a mirror

    So she will always see

    The audience that watches her

    Is made of only me.

    Now we'll wind the key around

    I'll lift the unlocked lid

    And listen to the melody

    The box once tightly hid.

    The lovely notes in minor scale

    The clicking of the gears

    A lullaby so smooth but sharp

    Is flowing through my ears.

    Dancer girl then springs to life

    Upon her tiny toes

    Twirling to a haunting song

    With words she only knows.

    When I shall return to here

    Only time will tell

    But for now, I'll close the lid

    And bid my friend farewell.

    Submitted on 2007-11-16 21:25:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You may remember me as Lisa Milligan. My account got messed up because my e-mail address lapsed and I have a new one now. So I put everything under a new name (Seagirl).

    I think you accomplished quite well what your teacher was looking for. And I love that you chose a music box. Coming up with that from something as mundane as a pencil is wonderful.

    You did what she asked, and in the meantime, you crafted a lovely piece. My favorite lines:

    Dancer girl then springs to life
    Upon her tiny toes
    Twirling to a haunting song
    With words she only knows."

    And I love the last stanza. Very pretty piece.

    | Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by Seagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      He he. You did quite well. I love the inocence of this piece. You show a lot of talent at such an early age. Don't let it go to waste. Keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2007-11-18 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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