[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Remember Your Eyesdots

    Author: ifwinterends
    ASL Info:    15/F/Dallas
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 8/3/4
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Prose/Dark
    Total Views: 617
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 794

       This is more of a 'what if' piece, however, it came very close to actually happening. I obsess daily over what could have happened if I hadn't reacted as I did...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Remember Your Eyesdots

    I remember your eyes, the way that they looked--at me, through me, through everything...as if you saw something that would immortalize you as your body would inevitably begin to decay. At first I saw only the blank glassy stare assumed by those whose blood ran impure, but as I saw the crimson pouring freely before me, I realized that this could not possibly be so. I could not watch. I clasped your hand, willing, pleading you to stay, but I averted my eyes all the same. With a flash of silver I realized it was done. I could see your face wrought with pain and defeat, your illustrious hair that had always been a symbol of your undying defiance lay fanned limply around your delicate face. And now as the weight of impurities of my own blood stifles those memories, I remember your eyes.

    Submitted on 2007-11-17 14:39:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This poem was very nice although I felt like you could have went alittle more into detail when you talked about how it ended... ya know?

    Good Job!
    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by CaughtRedhanded | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]