For some reason, I seem to think that this would sound better in acapella or something minimalistic ala Modest Mouse's "The World At Large." Going heavy metal on it just seems tacky, going all standard with it just seems a too small for it and being all psychedelic may just ruin it completely.
But then again, I'm not much of a musician so, [censored] it.
I think that what gives this piece flare is the combination of words. They may not be entirely unique but they do give that sense of half-heartedness; like you want it to be over but you also don't want to miss that feeling, that sense of being beautiful or having something beautiful to keep. It gives that not-so-angry-anymore vibe that haunts the piece and makes it whole. It captures that heartbreaking feeling of having to look back at your life. But it also forbids the reader from seeing too much of the persona - I think that that perfect element of mystery allows the piece the already set advantage of being interesting.
Submission Name: opposite day at the beginning of the world
