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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Samuel<3dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: YvonneJoyce
    ASL Info:    16, f, wa
    Elite Ratio:    2.92 - 11/13/24
    Words: 237
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1465



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSamuel<3dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Samuel Scott Bingaman,
    The boy who I’m just so much in love.
    I knew you were a gift from heaven,
    Like an amazing crystal dove.

    Just the joy knowing you are there,
    Making you proud my only care.
    There was nothing I couldn’t do.
    My heart held fast that to be true.

    So I learned the hard way to stand,
    Still with each lump, I found you hand.
    Drawing from you an inner strength,
    And stubborn pride or equal length.

    It’s grand to look in those eyes so green/blue,
    And hearing you say, “I love you.”
    Holding on to every word you say,
    Never wanting you to be away.

    Right now all I want to is forget,
    Every single thing that I regret.
    It’s the look you give me every time,
    Remembering to me that your all mine.

    It’s the little moments that you show,
    Terrified that they might not know.
    Thinking it will all be just a dream,
    But I love you to the full extreme.

    Hoping that they will understand,
    All the while taking you hand.
    Showing me the way of love,
    Seeing it all from up above.

    We’ve been through so much together, mostly good
    Now I can finally say, that I understood.
    I have enjoyed every moment spending it with you.
    All I can say now, Is I hope you love me too.

    11/16/07




    Submitted on 2007-11-18 18:16:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this was a sweet poem, but I would look it over and check for errors in spelling and punctuation. Also, at certain stanzas the rhyming seemed a bit forced, almost like you wer scrambling for words that rhymed and just constructed sentences that fit. You could try doing some of this in prose or try cutting your lines down without taking from the poem itself. Other than that, I really liked the simplicity and the sheer "teenage-girlishness" of this poem. Peace....

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2007-11-27 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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