[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Coagulate dots

    Author: Mandolin
    ASL Info:    10/15/89
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 131/145/85
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 875
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1475

       I believe I'm trying to write myself empty so my head will let me sleep. If this comes of as pitiful - pity it, it's really just draining and I'm sleeplessly so very tired.....
    which are where words slip out.......

    I bet it's sticky. Sorry for all the heart bleeding, a few of you met recognize the roots of this.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoagulate dots

    I would like to be dancing
    but this bodyís music Iím lacking;
    music that was laughing and panting,
    music that was color and thought;
    but my nights are too still for these things
    and this heart is much too sore.
    My excuses are true and exist only to substantiate.
    Weary, am I, and wanting.
    Strange am I?
    Not so strange to recede into thoughtlessness,
    and seek the lovely absentness of sleep.
    Nothingness is tempting me quiet,
    ever so absently, tempting me tender.
    To wane and ebb and disappear,
    I exist yet evanesce in my dangerous peace,
    I seep into the lulling nirvana of false comfort.
    Alone and longing in a unselfish loneliness.
    and the numbing songs of silence come calling,
    calling with the voice of fresh fallen snow;
    calling, calling like wind in the Queen Anneís Lace.
    I too am calling, calling.
    My hours are passing, seasons are changing.
    My mind is hot and thick and ill,
    words come sapping the imagery from an aching mind
    that is so multiplied in its baffled unhappiness
    that it cannot run itself out into happy emptiness.
    If the body rests ever so still with warmth waxing away
    I just might hear song of solidity and presence,
    the music of wholeness and presence,
    song that sings of friendship and withness
    heard only in the silent roar of being apart.

    Submitted on 2007-11-19 14:16:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Better giveup on that Queen Ann's Lace least you become like it when folding its seed into an empty nest.
    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that I like this.

    I like it, and yet,

    it seems a bit self absorbed.

    But I feel like I understand it, possibly relate.
    It's mature, but there is something refreshing about it as well.

    Love these lines:
    "...words come sapping the imagery from an aching mind
    that is so multiplied in its baffled unhappiness
    that it cannot run itself out into happy emptiness."

    An endless need to express,
    honing the art of expression.

    At least...

    that's what I drew from it.

    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by Puzzle_d_Box | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    AI written by poetotoe
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]