Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coagulate dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mandolin
    ASL Info:    10/15/89
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 131/145/85
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 897
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1475



    Description:
       I believe I'm trying to write myself empty so my head will let me sleep. If this comes of as pitiful - pity it, it's really just draining and I'm sleeplessly so very tired.....
    which are where words slip out.......
    drip
    drip
    drip.....

    I bet it's sticky. Sorry for all the heart bleeding, a few of you met recognize the roots of this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoagulate dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I would like to be dancing
    but this bodyís music Iím lacking;
    music that was laughing and panting,
    music that was color and thought;
    but my nights are too still for these things
    and this heart is much too sore.
    My excuses are true and exist only to substantiate.
    Weary, am I, and wanting.
    Strange am I?
    Not so strange to recede into thoughtlessness,
    and seek the lovely absentness of sleep.
    Nothingness is tempting me quiet,
    ever so absently, tempting me tender.
    To wane and ebb and disappear,
    I exist yet evanesce in my dangerous peace,
    I seep into the lulling nirvana of false comfort.
    Alone and longing in a unselfish loneliness.
    and the numbing songs of silence come calling,
    calling with the voice of fresh fallen snow;
    calling, calling like wind in the Queen Anneís Lace.
    I too am calling, calling.
    My hours are passing, seasons are changing.
    My mind is hot and thick and ill,
    words come sapping the imagery from an aching mind
    that is so multiplied in its baffled unhappiness
    that it cannot run itself out into happy emptiness.
    If the body rests ever so still with warmth waxing away
    I just might hear song of solidity and presence,
    the music of wholeness and presence,
    song that sings of friendship and withness
    heard only in the silent roar of being apart.




    Submitted on 2007-11-19 14:16:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Better giveup on that Queen Ann's Lace least you become like it when folding its seed into an empty nest.
    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that I like this.

    I like it, and yet,



    it seems a bit self absorbed.

    But I feel like I understand it, possibly relate.
    It's mature, but there is something refreshing about it as well.


    Love these lines:
    "...words come sapping the imagery from an aching mind
    that is so multiplied in its baffled unhappiness
    that it cannot run itself out into happy emptiness."

    An endless need to express,
    honing the art of expression.

    At least...

    that's what I drew from it.

    | Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by Puzzle_d_Box | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153121

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Giving written by jjd
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Incubus written by monad
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry