The jester and the king by Mr.Ordinary

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: The jester and the king dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Mr.Ordinary
ASL Info:	21/M/Navy
Elite Ratio:	3.17 - 64/102/41
Words:	49

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	826
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	320

Description:
i dont have half and idea what i was thinking when i wrote this. however, it is quite possible i wrote this during a lector in class. i was mostly asleep.

The jester and the king dots

-------------------------------------------

Alles life a game
Simply not left from fame
The mothers poor soul
Indeed does weep
For the jest shall be feed
on the kings sheep

the king shall strike
on the long lost sun
time played afon
the jest no longer sings
his merry long songs

Submitted on 2007-11-19 14:31:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
oo!
very well done.
so much sialies and metaphores! i love it.
it is very well written and yay!
the only thing i have to say is to maybe make it a little bit longer or make another poem with the same basic structure that is a little bit longer. but other than that WONDERFUL!.

much love

annie!
| Posted on 2007-11-19 00:00:00 | by annie smith | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

153124

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
In My Head written by faideddarkness
Date night written by expiring_touch
Wavelength written by saartha
Push written by JanePlane
4th of July written by layDsayD
I will call out your name written by RisingSon
Wasps written by Wolfwatching
Song written by Daniel Barlow
Whiteout written by layDsayD
Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
Bond written by saartha
The Promise written by annie0888
Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
One Thing written by Wolfwatching
Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
Wish written by Daniel Barlow
Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
Linger written by saartha
A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
Trails written by Daniel Barlow

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.