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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Along the Waydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: krs3332003
    Elite Ratio:    6.45 - 142/113/63
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1108



    Description:
       This is a very old poem. One that I wrote back in the early 90s. This piece talks to taking the time to smell the roses. Life is too short to take the road usually travelled.


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    dotsAlong the Waydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Along the path of evermore
    an endless rose does grow
    A flower of the ages
    for those that truly know

    Petals of the finest red
    that open at the dawn
    She blossoms through day
    for those that walk along

    So many have traveled this path
    and many more will come
    Yet so very few have noticed
    this blossom in the sun

    If they could only see
    that which they deny
    A moment of their day
    to open just one eye

    But the road is very rugged
    and takes a little time
    To live along this beaten path
    would seem a bit unkind

    And the mystery of it all
    would almost make one laugh
    That beauty of this kind
    could live along this path

    So as you stroll away
    to your unseen destiny
    Take some time to look
    for this blossomed entity

    Remember what you've heard
    these words that I would say
    For if you see and know
    they'll bring a smile along the way




    Submitted on 2007-11-20 05:45:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I truly like the central metaphor. If I gathered right, it's about people simply walking the dusty roads of their lives without noticing the small, beautiful things that really make life worth living. The idea appeals to me and I'm sure alot of other readers who themselves can't find the time to just appreciate these precious little details of our world.

    Still, I think that it could have been shorter(I know from experience, if you want to send a direct message across to the reader, like I see you've done by making the last two stanzas sound like an advice, it's good to keep it relatively concise). Some stanzas are a bit rough around the edges, but some are perfect, for example the 6th one( my favorite).
    From the 5th one, though, I really couldn't gather a meaning. Some people would call your style childish, but I find it really appealing adn really refreshing. You're not one of the people who seem to write just to show off their vocabulary. Still, we all have maturing to do and will never stop evolving.
    Anyway overall good work

    Take care
    Angie.
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]


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