[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Along the Waydots

    Author: krs3332003
    Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 145/114/65
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 775
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1108

       This is a very old poem. One that I wrote back in the early 90s. This piece talks to taking the time to smell the roses. Life is too short to take the road usually travelled.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlong the Waydots

    Along the path of evermore
    an endless rose does grow
    A flower of the ages
    for those that truly know

    Petals of the finest red
    that open at the dawn
    She blossoms through day
    for those that walk along

    So many have traveled this path
    and many more will come
    Yet so very few have noticed
    this blossom in the sun

    If they could only see
    that which they deny
    A moment of their day
    to open just one eye

    But the road is very rugged
    and takes a little time
    To live along this beaten path
    would seem a bit unkind

    And the mystery of it all
    would almost make one laugh
    That beauty of this kind
    could live along this path

    So as you stroll away
    to your unseen destiny
    Take some time to look
    for this blossomed entity

    Remember what you've heard
    these words that I would say
    For if you see and know
    they'll bring a smile along the way

    Submitted on 2007-11-20 05:45:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I truly like the central metaphor. If I gathered right, it's about people simply walking the dusty roads of their lives without noticing the small, beautiful things that really make life worth living. The idea appeals to me and I'm sure alot of other readers who themselves can't find the time to just appreciate these precious little details of our world.

    Still, I think that it could have been shorter(I know from experience, if you want to send a direct message across to the reader, like I see you've done by making the last two stanzas sound like an advice, it's good to keep it relatively concise). Some stanzas are a bit rough around the edges, but some are perfect, for example the 6th one( my favorite).
    From the 5th one, though, I really couldn't gather a meaning. Some people would call your style childish, but I find it really appealing adn really refreshing. You're not one of the people who seem to write just to show off their vocabulary. Still, we all have maturing to do and will never stop evolving.
    Anyway overall good work

    Take care
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Bond written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]