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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prose About a Poemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 831
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 767



    Description:
       I suppose it's a minimalist story. I don't know. I actually know a guy who wore that outfit in high school. I spend too much time in coffeehouses listening to people read stuff like this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsProse About a Poemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He steps up to the mic at the half-deserted suburban coffeehouse with a piece that he's just pulled from his polished black briefcase. His awkward frame is dressed in flared jeans, a black t-shirt, a vomit-ugly green striped necktie, and white low-rise Chuck Taylor sneakers. In his self-important, "I am the shit," nerd boy voice, he starts to read his so-called masterpiece. He reads the piece with the seriousness of a Shakespearean actor, and his piece alludes to everything from the Bible to Kerouac with few words under three syllables. You feel remorse when you begin to laugh, but you have no control as he reads his 18-page mock epic about someone bumping his frail elbow as he stood enraptured on the front row of a Weezer concert.




    Submitted on 2004-06-24 12:29:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is great.. i've definitely seen that guy.. it totally backs up my open mic piece... ha ha... sometimes i go to open mic because i know people like him will be there and it makes me feel a little better about some of my own work...
    | Posted on 2004-10-24 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      I went to an open mic evening recently, the first time I'd ever read my poems out loud to anyone. There were a lot of good poets there, but I can still relate to this feeling, somehow… Made me smile. Good write. Becky
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      ha this is brilliant! haha! i love it! the end is just so crazy and so unexpected and 18 pages of massive words to get to that... wow... sounds like hes got mates who aint told him how bad he reals sucks... haha... anyways i really like this!
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      roflmao. i'm sorry, this makes me laugh. not the story, but the guy! and this part especially: You feel remorse when you begin to laugh, but you have no control as he reads his 18-page mock epic about someone bumping his frail elbow as he stood enraptured on the front row of a Weezer concert. Funny in a sense. Good work :). Take care.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]
      Most importantly, that guy probably got laid by some girl who loved the poem. For every bad poem, there's a stupid girl who will dig it. I wonder if he looked at you and thought, "That girl probably listens to the Velvet Underground. Look at her trying-too-hard-to-be-artsy black and white movie star dress. I bet she jots down a few lines of a metaphor, calls it complete and gets praised by her silly peers for being able to 'say so much in so few words'."
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      More often than not - I'm discovering a whole new world on this web-site. I catch a peek into a world I know nothing about - in this case about coffee-house writers. Sounds really interesting. I truly enjoyed reading this.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, i think i heard that guy read once at an open mic! lol! actually, i've sat through some very painful musical open mics. other times, i've just had to get up and leave. i feel bad, but some people just need to stay away from the mic! this poor boy doesn't get it. to him, he's shakespeare reincarnated! what's a poet to do?! funny!
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Great job on this. I could visualize this nerd-like boy standing up there in all his glory trying to read while everyone was laughing. It's funny, and the end caught me off guard and was the best! Weezer concert?! LoL Clever. Great job.
    --blt
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      This screamed out to me of beatniks and hipsters. The persona of someone who takes themselves way too seriously and expects others to do so as well. Yes, it would be hard to choke back the giggles. This was a fun read.
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, the dude pushed me, and it was intentional.
    And it wasn't wheezer it was blink 182.
    heee heee. Yeah, these posers just annoy the pi$$ out of real writers like you and me, eh?
    But seriously, I loved your description so much. It made me physically uncomfortable for him just reading the words. Good deal.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      poor guy. anyway you described him very well. your choice of words help to convey the message. I like this first 'story' you put up here. I could easily envision it. very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think i love this above all the other poems i've read from you. you have a way of catching awkward moments of reality, but this is just sourpatch kids i don't have to share during a really good movie i've been waiting to come out in theaters. i'm making it a fave. =]

    ~Blue
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
       haha, I kinda like this one, it is something we all do, or end up doing, we listen to the most horrible speaker, perhaps a fake, a phony, and in our heads we describe them, lay them out, and break down each pathetic bone in there body, and for the lack of anything better to do, during the boring excuse for literature, you start ripping apart their cells, like you are f*ckin their worst mitosis. We think alike, and that is why I like this, it is short, and all so very true, you don't see many like this, lol. Its going directly to my favorites! -by the way, I am really sorry it took me forever to read it, after you asked me, I have been experiencing plenty of difficulty with this website, and it works when it wants to. I am glad it does now, I enjoyed reading this story. Excellent job!
    | Posted on 2004-07-13 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]


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