Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Begging Letter.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 499
    Class/Type: Prose/Satire
    Total Views: 781
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2530



    Description:
       So, we were supposed to write a letter in a voice that I got to make up asking for something. That was it. And this is what came out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBegging Letter.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    November 12, 1987

    Seris,
         You are the only one I could ever call a friend, because you didnít meet me the way most do. You didnít compliment my eyes, and I appreciate that. You thought I was awkward, and I appreciated that too. So much. You never once asked me for favors, so please forgive me. I need to ask this from you. Only you. Please, I beg of you, take my eyes Seris. I know how it sounds, but I can only ask you. Iím writing because this is the only way I can ask and tell you why.

         My eyes. Everyone likes my eyes, Seris. They tell me they love my thick, long lashes, love them. They love the color, they call it ďa blue so light itís nearlyÖcolorless.Ē I remember you agreed once. You never dwelled on the matter. You never touch my hair and tell me the rage black is such a beautiful contrast. And then like them touch my back they tell me they can see themselves in my eyes. Then pull my shirt over my shoulder and wonít leave.

         They do not ask, just take. But they love my eyes. I canít stand it when they touch me and I canít say it. Sometimes I donít have to kiss, that makes it better almost. Then I can pretend it isnít happening because itís just my body. It doesnít mean anything, and yet when they touch me it disgusts me. I feel sick. They wonít leave. My eyes keep them there with me, my eyes make them touch me, because they love my eyes. You never touched me.

         Iím not a girl and they donít understand or they say it doesnít matter. They say Iím beautiful. My motherís Other thought I was beautiful. He loved my eyes. He liked to run his finger along the side of my jaw and ask me to get on my knees. He would ask me to look at him with my beautiful eyes and keep his gaze the whole time. I never told you this. You never said I was like a girl.

         I want to take out my eyes. If they are gone then everyone will disappear too. Take my eyes and burn them. Or I will do it myself and send them to you, to burn still. No one will ever look upon them again, and they will never again cause harm. Theyíre too beautiful to stay with my filthy body. Take them please. Please Seris. Because if I take them, Iíll tell you now, I will not stop the flow of my blood. I will let it run forever.



    Edpash.




    Submitted on 2007-11-20 20:24:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      (I hope this is actually up here to critique and I'm not intruding because it seems rather private.) This is a moving piece. I see a bit of my frustrations in it; that cosmic injustice that doesn't let us look on the outside how we feel or think on the inside. I think it's the message that your eyes are beautiful to many people, so to them that's all there actually is to you. Appearances are so confining-my eyes are the one physical trait Ive ever liked about myself but mine tend to veer people away so maybe that's why I like them. Anyway, good write.
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by fate_s nemisis | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153255

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bond written by saartha
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Linger written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry