Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: footsteps in the snowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ares_nuke_1
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 106/151/76
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 740
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 552



    Description:
       forgive me. it's been a long time since i visited this site. Please enjoy the first of many poems to come. it's about finding someone and taking chances in life...enjoy. please don't make comments on gramatical erors. just comment on the content of this piece thank you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfootsteps in the snowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    footsteps in the snow
    lead to questions unknown
    yet i follow

    it's cold out here all alone
    nobody to call no phone
    just following footsteps in the snow

    should not have come
    body is going numb
    just to find someone

    just ahead a shadow
    the footsteps lead there i know
    who's been walking so far in the snow

    find that shadow
    that person hiding that you don't know
    just follow those footsteps in the snow




    Submitted on 2007-11-20 23:17:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its rythmic. Which is good. But without punctuation, its guessing where to pause and where not to leaving it broken...

    "it's cold out here all alone
    nobody to call no phone
    just following footsteps in the snow"

    I think you should put
    "Nobody to call with no phone"

    Now, i love the sentiments in the poem. I know what its like searching for that person. It seems all you do is search and you are about to die of exhaustion. But don't give up!
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by Indaleco | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153273

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry