thanks

Author: love gone wrong ASL Info:    27/m/colorado Elite Ratio:    2.14 - 337 /381 /42 Words: 24

Class/Type: Poetry /Misc Total Views: 2089 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 176

Description:

---

thanks

---

hot needle in the eye blood red sky stake through the heart mountains split apart corkscrew in the ear one salty, black tear thanks...

Submitted on 2004-02-04 22:56:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

hmmm... ya lost me there at the end. I'm usually a huge fan of short poems, but in this case... I'd like to know more, and I think the poem would be improved by extending it. GREAT imagery. "salty black tear..." very nice. One wonders how dark the soul must be for the eyes to cry black tears. <><

| Posted on 2004-02-05 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]

lol i don't know if it's beyond me or if it's just surpose to say what it says lol i mean it's wonderful ideas and metaphors of pain contrasted against nature that applies to both because the sky and mountains and things in nature are powerful and when they are changed, then what ever is changing them like in this poem "emotions" has to be even more powerful Great Poem

| Posted on 2004-02-04 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]

Not one of your best. but alot of good imagery and SO bitter.(another person would say that's bad, but a bitter person usually has such a saucy sense of humor, lol).

| Posted on 2004-02-04 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

1533