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Sacrifices


Author: Dying Young
ASL Info:    18 / F / Lebanon
Elite Ratio:    6.16 - 78 /34 /27
Words: 67
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 868
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 414



Description:




Sacrifices



The tear of a mother
For the smile of a child

The death of a spirit
For the life of a nation

The explosion of a volcano
For the fertility of a soil

The pain and the ache
For the pleasure after healing

The sweat today
For the triumph tomorrow

" If You Want Peace … Be Prepared To War "




Submitted on 2007-11-21 14:45:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Very astute observations here. Despite not liking what the conclusion is, it was arrived at logically.

Basic and to the point, you say a lot without saying much. Well written.

Hopefully we can discount the conclusion in the near future... at least that is my hope.

Thanks for sharing.
Guermo
| Posted on 2008-09-16 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]
  In Lebanon you write at a young age, somnething that many people in Australia never learn. But it is so basic!

Maybe it is a boring poem because the thought is so well-known; but the metaphors are well-chosen and the verse so nicely made that is is a good expression of that thought.
| Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a philosophy which has stood the test of the ages. Its the trial and triumph of the human spirit. I like how you link the last line to the title. It brough to my mind the example of Jesus. All His life He taught that you can't get to Heaven without triumph over tragedies.
| Posted on 2007-11-24 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  good job, I didn't find any mistakes with spelling or grammer. the flow could use a little tweeking for poetry. I think it would make a good peptalk, if its for that than theres no tweeking needed ^_^.

maybe I'm just a doofus, but in

The sweat today
For the triumph tomorrow

the work sweat got missread as sweet and i had to go back and reread it over >_< maybe you could change it to a new word
| Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]


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