Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: periphery.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Melora
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 175/198/128
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 542



    Description:
       The last two lines are a T.S. Eliot reference, hence the italics. It was deliberate, not plagarism. =]


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsperiphery.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    We don't consider tomorrow's qualms

    Just tonight's no rights

    And no wrongs

    How the body is solid geometry, unfettered by autonomy

    And how hands

    Can trace vectors

    From aching to zenith

    On the edges of my peripheral vision

    And there's time yet for a hundred indecisions

    Time yet for a hundred visions and revisions.








    Submitted on 2007-11-21 16:05:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very Machiavellian. Pursuing an end without considering the means.

    "unfettered by autonomy" --> Unfettered and autonomy are almost the same. Freedom and Independence. Hmm. Sounds very American for some reason...

    "And how hands
    Can trace vectors
    From aching to zenith" --> Our hands can do a lot, either good or bad. Sometimes it can trace a path to the horizon.

    Nice piece. I wonder if my observation is what you were trying to relate. I'm curious.

    Keep up the good writing!
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      too complex for the MTV nation.....so..............I like it!
    complex and well thought.....good work!
    | Posted on 2007-11-21 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153321

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry