Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Theme of the Runawaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mandolin
    ASL Info:    10/15/89
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 131/145/85
    Words: 339
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2238



    Description:
       Ever run away? I wonder what from.

    For M. Aubrey G. - my companion, love, and the only true joy in my life - thank you for being an example of how to knock doors down, but also for letting me do so and feel safe doing so at my own pace. I love you. Without you, I would have gone invisible, vanishing alone. I choose to live. I choose to love you always.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTheme of the Runawaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre the kinder branches long dreamít of
    from windows
    (eyes made for looking and working out desires,)
    processing the predictable,
    yet untamed, pendulums of human emotion.
    In the end, always ashamed and sitting pretty,
    still indoors and unsatisfied - undirty.

    But dreams get bigger, brilliantly so, likes trees planted - seeds grow;
    rain comes in
    (through where branches burst the seems,) seeping,
    seemingly, leaking love through these visual windows in these sensual walls;
    where better to grow wonders in than water, dirt - (experience proves a grape-like mud.)

    Worrisome ceiling corners crack with the weight of the nightmares
    in the barrage of truth and faith and weighty dreaming rain.
    What an ill and sorry strength holding up as the plaster,
    the strength it takes to turn invisible,
    (quietly accepting being oh so wrongly brave and miserable,)
    cracks grow in the thinking cap of the skull Ė
    (such a sorry canopy of paupers, fools, and kings.)

    Ach, so we all go a little crazy and act a little insane when put in a cage,
    emotions within doors play the part of playground
    (and hiding people walls have a padding of nails.)
    Rules and regulations, ďmatureĒ moral standing roofing the rough woven world of young people.

    Girl who doesnít want to be "too emotional," taught to fear (and feel ashamed for the hungers of) the heart,
    and neediness of a soulís starvation is the fear of a gluttonous heart.
    (Tragic irony, that.)
    But children should know, death of starving the heart is no martyr's death,
    it's a confused suicide, ach, we donít belong indoors,
    itís a wonder the pendulum over goes up in here anyway.

    Letís go outdoors, donít we covet nature anyway?
    Nothing is sweeter than the irresponsible and immature madness of selflessness, feral, free.
    Maybe then this girl can be all you've dream't of,
    and break down your doors, more doors;
    for hearts want nothing more than to get their hands dirty, planting loving seeds.




    Submitted on 2007-11-21 21:50:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is appropiately titled. I like the transitions going back and forth. plus the analogies are discreetly handled. I liked,"(such a canopy of paupers,fools and kings)." "---death of starving the heart is no martyr's death" is also pretty powerful.
    The last line sounds like the picture of a troubadour walking the land strumming the tune.
    This is not a piece for casual perusal. It requires studious attention to the feelings of the lonely breaking out of a house -o-dreams.
    | Posted on 2007-11-24 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153349

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry