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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hearts Desiredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SinCeer05
    ASL Info:    21mVA
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 243/279/168
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1161
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1349



    Description:
        Lyrics for a friend...Its great practice to write about someone inspiring...Drop some feedback, and constructive critisism. It includes some inside wordplays, just for the heads up..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHearts Desiredots
    -------------------------------------------


    I知 in the presence of an angel with a worthy wish
    I知 surrounded by an earthly mist
    and when her words breathe, they just serve me bliss
    Her aroma is sweet to the senses like a Hershey kiss

    Your body sways like a calm breeze,
    Beauty to compare to a solar flare,
    As we just stand with our palms squeezed,
    No cares in the air, what we have is rare,
    Like an echo in an open plain,
    the mood says let go, as we reflect souls and float in change,
    The scopes insane, I still feel the heat after we soaked the flames,
    From the edge of reason and loathing, you gave me hope to claim,
    I was just a man to cope with pain, tied down, and u broke the chains,
    Wrapped in your arms outside,
    I could stand in winter
    Whispers in your voice to rise,
    Gets a grown man to quiver
    Just shiver,
    Ur the cats meow, you池e the pick of the litter
    I値l turn the lights real low, but your smile still glows to flicker
    Your an angel with a sublime filled soul and Gods the giver

    I知 in the presence of an angel with a worthy wish
    I知 surrounded by an earthly mist
    and when her words breathe, they just serve me bliss
    Her aroma is sweet to the senses like a Hershey kiss




    Submitted on 2007-11-21 23:39:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153362

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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