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    dots Submission Name: Natural Urgedots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1367
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 421


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    dotsNatural Urgedots

    Within the timber lives a red and amber
    starving ember craving to caramelize air.

    Beneath bark an embryo flame slumbers
    like coiled thunder waiting to be sprung.

    The flesh of my old growth soul feels
    heat stirring and turning in restless sleep.

    A natural urge, the dozing passion obsesses
    on an opportune event of explosive expression.

    Submitted on 2007-11-21 23:45:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent! Sensual, smoldering, and explosive passion seeking a spark! Wonderful, thought provoking verse, this!
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    You know how I love your writing and as always this just reaches deep within and speaks to my soul.

    There is not much to say with something so well written and felt as this piece is...

    | Posted on 2007-12-18 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Honestly, I can relate to this. Haha!!! This poem is delightful, the words you used here stirred a passion in me that I only truly feel whenever I write myself. I love the new one, and i understand how it is sometimes. I like how it's short, and to the point. Well, Chrys, a good job as always, and I wish I could write more, but there is not that much more to say, it's just great.
    With love,
    | Posted on 2007-11-24 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just beautiful; I donít think any praise will do this justice.

    In this write you say your soul is on fire, like a burning coal inside a tree, still small but looking for oxygen, waiting for a chance to escape. You have so much passion inside you, its keeping you awake at night. I canít help to feel that its age, your physical body (old growth soul) that keeps your passion from getting out, and its frustrating.
    I might be completely wrong, lucky poetry is always open for discussion.

    I liked your meter, itís not constant but out loud it reads with so much passion and flow. I think you achieved this with you weird rhyme. Itís a complicated but good structure.

    I really enjoyed your poem, thank you for a delightful read.

    | Posted on 2007-11-22 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]

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