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    dots Submission Name: forgive medots

    Author: ares_nuke_1
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 106/151/76
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 465


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    dotsforgive medots

    memories of you creep into mind
    i search for answers that i can't find
    why did i leave you
    why did i give up
    you were so pure and true
    yet i tossed you away and gave up
    forgive me now in my moment of weakness
    all i seek now is your forgiveness
    i'm sorry for all the pain i caused
    and i hope to you all is not lost
    i love you and i always will
    words cannot express the way i feel

    Submitted on 2007-11-22 04:31:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Lovely sentiments and a plea that must be answered, But will your love grow in a new direction, I believe if it did that would inject the brilliance into this peice when people look at it in reflection,
    Nice write
    | Posted on 2007-11-22 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay hun.
    This is great, and sad.And I think many can relate.I spent quite a bit of time reviseing it and heres what ive come up with;

    "Memories of you creep into mind;
    I search for answers that I can't find.

    Why did I leave you?
    Why did I give up?

    You were so pure and true,
    yet I tossed you away and gave up.

    Forgive me now in my moment of weakness.
    All I seek now is your forgiveness.

    Iím sorry for all the pain I caused,
    and I hope to you all is not lost.

    I love you and I always will,
    my words canít express the regret I feel."

    I didnt change the words much, just fixed puncuation and capitalization.

    I also gave a structure to it.

    Keep in mind these are only ideas.
    I hope my time was spent well,and that you will be pleased with the results.

    Wonderfull job.

    -Shadow Doll.

    P.S. ~ Please comment my latest poem
    | Posted on 2007-11-22 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]

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