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    dots Submission Name: She Don't Speakdots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Don't Speakdots

    She don't speak
    Except in my sleep.
    Shows me her secrets
    And leaves me alone.
    She only breathes
    While on the phone.
    But i don't mind
    Because i can't stop thinking
    Of the person i'm not.
    Why does she even call?
    The things she doesn't say.
    Are the reasons
    I can't stay away.

    Submitted on 2007-11-22 18:57:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      actually i think this IS "out there"---

    i understand it could be about a relationship with a woman...two people trying to think of something to say because there is a roadblock to their relationship...but i also see the Muse fitting into this very nicely...

    why does she come to me...because i can never finish anything i start writing...it is like she teases me...i hear her breathing on the phone...but she won't give me words...it is so frustrating..
    i think maybe i'll change my number and make it unlisted...

    like Hemmingway..sometimes less is more...i see that here...

    | Posted on 2011-07-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very short and blunt. There wasn't alot of emotion, there wasn't much of a point, and no background at all. I has potential, but I think that it should be revised to be a little more out there. it was good though. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading.

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2007-11-28 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

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