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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She Don't Speakdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Don't Speakdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She don't speak
    Except in my sleep.
    Shows me her secrets
    And leaves me alone.
    She only breathes
    While on the phone.
    But i don't mind
    Because i can't stop thinking
    Of the person i'm not.
    Why does she even call?
    The things she doesn't say.
    Are the reasons
    I can't stay away.




    Submitted on 2007-11-22 18:57:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      actually i think this IS "out there"---

    i understand it could be about a relationship with a woman...two people trying to think of something to say because there is a roadblock to their relationship...but i also see the Muse fitting into this very nicely...

    why does she come to me...because i can never finish anything i start writing...it is like she teases me...i hear her breathing on the phone...but she won't give me words...it is so frustrating..
    i think maybe i'll change my number and make it unlisted...

    like Hemmingway..sometimes less is more...i see that here...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very short and blunt. There wasn't alot of emotion, there wasn't much of a point, and no background at all. I has potential, but I think that it should be revised to be a little more out there. it was good though. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading.

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2007-11-28 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


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