Out of the Blue and Into the Black….
As I sit here with a fading light, I am wondering who first said those words I can’t seem to chase out of my thoughts.
“It’s Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away.”
Could it be I have chosen a path of theirs? A path that “fades?” Possibly a different route, yet leads to the faded side of existence. My distressed mind rushes ahead to the end of that jagged journey, searching the cold darkness for my destination. Trying desperately to capture a ray of light to lead me out of hell. Trusting in my heart, this is not the end. Wanting to believe though I may have stumbled on to a path of a one way journey, I have the will to find my way “home.” Even though there is only darkness and it creeps up and crawls into my empty soul….
“Home” the word leaves me blank… frightened… lonely. I have only emptiness inside. Where has my faith gone? Why won’t I do what must be done? “Strength” why or what is strapping me down, refusing to allow me to get up, on my feet.
Only I can save myself….. Only I. Now, where to reach, who to seek? Who would come? The sad words come back loud… Only I.
Again darkness surrounds me. So silent I can hear the end. With an eerie feeling, it is almost welcomed. I cannot seem to shake the idea of peace. Could the end be the beginning? If I force my feet and move ahead, no matter how blinding the darkness is, will I survive? Can I reach that place I have yearned for? Do I have a choice? The shadows are a lie! I use them, manipulate them to hold down the darkness, as it has manipulated and held me.
Knowing it to be evil will bring an end, to my end, to my pain. The darkness will fall, my turn will evolve. I see the truth, even though I must crawl fearlessly through Lucifer’s lie I will find it, through this twisted maze, the ray light that will provide faith and warmth. This end gives the beginning breath, which gives life. The turn is mine, confident and rising from this adventure. Today the darkness will choose not to stay!