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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bleeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WhY-dO-yOu-CrY
    ASL Info:    17/F/ConnUSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 131/79/78
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 192
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 880



    Description:
       i worte this during Thanksgiving dinner


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBleeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I bleed to feel,

    I feel to bleed.


    That is my way of surviving

    When you sit here in a house

    Silent as can be,

    Piled with people

    You couldn't care less to see.



    You are screaming,

    You are yelling,

    Ripping your soul apart.

    Trying,

    Sesarching,

    To find a way out.



    You sit and wonder what life could have been

    If you had taken that chance

    To become happy again,

    But that moment has come and gone

    So you must get up and move on

    With the death of your soul

    And the parting of your eyes,

    You decide to skip the goodbyes.






    Submitted on 2007-11-23 14:09:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like it its really good. i felt the pain. keep writing
    | Posted on 2008-10-12 00:00:00 | by StainedxBlades | [ Reply to This ]
      Very emotional my dear, again a fast one for me but very good,
    your still telling me you have been there and are able to put it down on paper, i like that.

    Only bad thing I can say so far is--- "slow down"


    jamar2
    | Posted on 2008-10-07 00:00:00 | by jamar2 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this piece comes off as melo-dramatic,it doesnt really do anything for me,like I think Ive read all of these "bleed to feel","soul being ripped apart" lines before,I dont see anything beyond angst here,like your writing in your diary,but its not poetic.Im not saying it has to be either,but you got comments saying how deep and original this was and I have to diss-agree,its filled with emotion which is okay,but its saying nothing new,in my oppinion it captures the mood in a really cliché way and thats all it does...

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, allow me to express my pleasure about your comment on "And What About Decisions." I placed the verb (join) in the present tense because the action is ongoing ,not a closed event. To some there must be a passage of time before the option of joining is made.

    as for your "Bleed," I had to reread the first two lines since there is a quiet conjuration of thought expounded here. They wonderfully express all the other lines. This poem ,to me,
    expresses how the living thing wrapped in its cocoon can decide just when to emerge in accept the warmth of the environs in which its life will be determined. It is a good write.
    The last line was an enigma to me. I, too, ,don't like to say goodbye.
    | Posted on 2008-01-11 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      well i can't top the comment that Dying Young left, but i must say that i LOVE how you wrote this poem, its filled with emotion.
    | Posted on 2007-12-31 00:00:00 | by Nessyjane | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really deep !!...
    I wrote once about bleeding just to know I still Can feel ... so i kinda loved the first two lines...
    Also loved the idea of being surrouded by people you wouldnt wanna be part of... cliché... but original when it's written on thanksgiving day !!... what makes a person feels like that in an occasion like thanksgiving ?? I reallly don;t have much info about that holyday .. but I know one thing ... it aint the way it should be.. the way ur describing it !! ... and here's where the originality of this piece shows ...
    though...
    <You could care less to see.>... I guess this one should be <couldn't care less > !! dont u think so too ??

    I really like it..!!
    Good Work

    | Posted on 2007-11-24 00:00:00 | by Dying Young | [ Reply to This ]


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