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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What I Do Bestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Inkybro
    ASL Info:    17/M/Oklahoma
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 55/69/39
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 716
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 441



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat I Do Bestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In trying to build courage
    I've compiled a list
    Of things that I feel
    I do very best
    I worry and wonder
    I fail miserably
    I'm a loser and I hurt
    I talk before I think
    I need reassurance
    I need company
    I hate being told
    That I am needy
    The nights go by too fast
    The days go too slow
    The weekends are seconds
    In this all-time low




    Submitted on 2007-11-25 11:57:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think you have more potential to broaden an adolescents life. this didn't flow right at all and almost seemed forced. it can be hard to get one's feelings out in a way to relate to other people as well and try to bring a piece together. i think you can add some things to make this an even better piece
    | Posted on 2007-11-27 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
      Although this piece accurately and expressively communicates the lows of teenhood, I'm not sure it was really my cup of tea. Something about the flow just didn't sit right with me, but that is just my opinion... Other than that, let me just say on a side note that it will get better... I promise! Just hang in there and use these years to find out who you really are. Take care!
    ~Melissa~
    | Posted on 2007-11-25 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]


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