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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blue Birds Can't Crydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: paintingangels
    Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 14/18/24
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angst
    Total Views: 108
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlue Birds Can't Crydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sweet little blue bird
    come to my window
    I left the light on for you
    I know you're lonely
    you've lost your way again

    and now you are sad
    but you can't cry

    I will cry for you
    like you sing for me
    when I can't find the words
    to make it through

    I will cry for you
    like you sing for me
    when all that I can do
    is cry

    Sad little blue bird
    fly from my window
    now is the time to move on

    I know it's scary
    you miss your baby
    and now you are sad
    but you can't cry

    So I will cry for you
    I will shed my tears
    of blue for you

    like you sing for me
    like you sing for me




    Submitted on 2007-11-25 20:44:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, well I think punctuation in poetry is a stylistic choice. But your line breaks work well I think with out it. Your breaks are your punctuation. I almost felt like the person in the poem was using the little blue bird as an excuse to allow her tears to fall. And I liked that metaphor, it was very pretty.
    | Posted on 2007-11-26 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      My suggestion? Add punctuation to help with the flow. It will also up the emotion that is ment to be present, but seems lacking without direction on when to pause etc, hence punctuation.
    | Posted on 2007-11-26 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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