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The Track With No End


Author: Inkybro
ASL Info:    17/M/Oklahoma
Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 55 /69 /39
Words: 56
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1157
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 402



Description:




The Track With No End



Given the time
I should be fine
And the location
And the temptation
But these times come
These times go
And I 'suddenly' realize
It IS that bad
Damnit, I AM that sad
And even if some people starve
I hope they're starving happy
Because I'd rather die hungry
Than live this life I've been handed




Submitted on 2007-11-26 13:50:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Wow, the ending of this was very powerful. I'm not sure if I'm right, but what I get from it is that you are living this "blessed" life but you don't feel at all happy with it, and you are saying "yeah, maybe these people are starving, but maybe they're deliriously happy with it."

Your writing has a great rhythm. I don't know, I almost want to tap my foot to it, haha.
| Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the way you put quotes around suddenly. Adds just the right touch to the line. The first four lines seem kinda outta place somehow... Maybe if they were worded differently? Well, it doesn't matter, it's fine the way it is now.
Kudos.
| Posted on 2007-12-08 00:00:00 | by No_purpose | [ Reply to This ]
  Your poem was quick and to the point. I like how you went with the "I am not ok" point of view. How you didnt try to explain it or justifie it. Now, that you are being true to yourself and to your emotions what are you going to do?
which sometimes is the hardest thing to figure out.
| Posted on 2007-11-28 00:00:00 | by snufthepunk28 | [ Reply to This ]
  wow i agree with sanctityexposed. i love how simple and to the point it is. there's no room for other interpretation it's just the reality of what you have been handed. i know this feeling and can relate. i wouldnt make any changes to this piece. DEFINETLY a fav!
| Posted on 2007-11-27 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
  Very simple, very to-the-point. I love how it goes from "Hmm, I think I'll be fine" to "Who am I kidding!?" Good job on this one.
| Posted on 2007-11-26 00:00:00 | by SanctityExposed | [ Reply to This ]


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