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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dystrophydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 489
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 643



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDystrophydots
    -------------------------------------------


    She weakens,
    To sight like she,
    Collapses on the floor
    I watch her fall,
    Right there,
    As so many times before,

    I think, maybe she's okay,
    But bruised up,
    Maybe she's not,
    Now that I see her,
    With a scar, cut,
    And lately, a clot.

    It see her shake it off,
    So it rmends me,
    Of hope
    That we all fal sometimes,
    But I've got,
    This view up close,

    To see with my eyes,
    Living proof,
    Of real health,
    The Life isn't the body,
    Life is You.
    Yourself




    Submitted on 2007-11-27 13:37:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That was enjoyable, I like the way you almost slowed down time and turned something relativily banal into a deep thought. I hope to see more of your poems. The quick change of ideals was also effective eg

    "So it rmends me,
    Of hope"

    then to :

    " The Life isn't the body,
    Life is You."

    great job,

    phil (Dead Bell)
    | Posted on 2007-11-27 00:00:00 | by Dead Bell | [ Reply to This ]


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