Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pitiful Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: emoxday
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 113/123/144
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 696
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1261



    Description:
       Listening to a song by Malice Mizer. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPitiful Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's so pitiful
    how I can't stop thinking about you
    It's so pathetic
    how I want something I can't have

    vodka at night isn't changing anything
    I still crave you my fine addiction
    staring at the lake, all I can remember was us
    and how we used to be

    The stars can't change what we had together
    listen to my rant by the lake side
    the fishies calling to me
    one step closer to paradise

    what did it feel like the night you walked to the
    bottom of the lake?
    Haha, the moon is empty, waiting
    agian and agian

    This vodka isn't doing anything
    singing to you on a full moon
    remember that night when you went to the lake
    were you thinking of me?

    water caressing my skin, doesn it know my tears make it grow?
    gasping for a breath that isn't mine
    do you know I hate you
    Did you remember me when you went to sleep
    was I your last thought?

    A rant to the lake that took you away
    do you still remember me?
    Do you ever think of me, on the other side?
    Did you ever wonder what you did to me?




    Submitted on 2007-11-27 16:52:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Whoa. The last stanza was like a slap in the face. - A good one though :D

    The stars can't change what we had together
    listen to my rant by the lake side
    the fishies calling to me
    one step closer to paradise

    The fishies
    LMAO
    It was all serious and sad and then I was like. Wait a minuite... LOL

    But yeah... :D


    &&
    water caressing my skin, doesn it know my tears make it grow?
    =
    water caressing my skin, does'nt it know my tears make it grow?
    --
    My favorite parts were

    --
    water caressing my skin, does'nt it know my tears make it grow?
    gasping for a breath that isn't mine
    do you know I hate you
    Did you remember me when you went to sleep
    was I your last thought?

    &

    vodka at night isn't changing anything
    I still crave you my fine addiction
    staring at the lake, all I can remember was us
    and how we used to be

    Good write, keep it up.
    <3
    | Posted on 2008-04-21 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! THis is amaing! I love the flow in this piece and the constant questioning. The last stanza sent chills through me. THis is an amazing write, so well thought out and beautifly writtin. Great work, keep on writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-11-28 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153637

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Genesis written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Stretto written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Incubus written by monad
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry